Last week

London - Angel, Elia Street and Belsize Park, Haverstock Hill

A whirlwind work trip took me back to my old city for a short but fulfilling weekend. Meeting up with old friends at our old local, the Charles Lamb Pub, having some dirty burger grub at Hache@Camden, crazy Saturday night bowling at the All Stars on the grubby streets of Brick Lane to celebrate Xiansta's 30th, a rainy queue in Soho for a cosy evening in Koya, coffee+ice cream at my favourite Gelup, and an old repeated visit to the Pain Quotidien to see pipi, and off on that old channel train, the eurostar. Very much like the old weekends, it didn't feel too long ago.

Paris - District 15

Then it was off to Paris for a week of work. Autumn is a lot warmer on the Continent, and alot crisper. I stayed in a hotel with the smallest lift in the world, walked each morning along tree lined streets of the Parisian sub-urbs to work.

You see, all big cities have this same look about them. Paris included. On my last evening, my lovely colleaguse, though knowing that I have spent many a day in gay Paree, took me on a lovely scenic drive through some of the main monuments of Paris after having a traditional sud-ouest(ern) dinner next to the Palais Royale -  the Grand Palais, the Louvre and its eery glow, L'invalides, and of course the Madamoiselle Eiffel in all its sparkly glory. One can trawl a gazillion photos of these, but I leave you with a photo of 'daily life' in Paris.

this is me, bewildered by the smallest lift in the world.

[via]

Good morning. I actually don't know who reads this space anymore, and I am sometimes tempted to move back to LJ [although the interface isn't very good, and it crashes all the time]. That said, I think I will start working on exporting some of my blog entries and streamlining it in one place, or two, simply because I'd like a backup, in case LJ disappears in to the big black www universe.

This week, I have been on a rather short fuse. The week started off with a difficult conversation with someone in my extended family. She asked many questions about my father and his condition. Many of these phrases were pepperd with the word 'Why?' Why did this happen? Why didn't you do this? Why do you do that? Why? Many questions out of love no less, but nonetheless so immensely difficult to answer. Workwise, it has been hectic, very challenging. And I hope that i am mentally able to separate my work day, from my personal life in the evenings. It is sometimes so easy to slip into that blurred line, and often for that, Mr Mo has to bear the brunt.

It is almost the end of the week, and the month has flown by. I have now officially completed my first month in the new company (M+1J!) and am happy to report that I am swimmingly busy, and becoming a real juggling act! The days fly by, as I potter about on my computer, speeding to be out of the office at a reasonable time, be it to be home for dinner with my parents, to be on time for that yoga class once a week, to make that one weekly dinner date with Mr Mo .... to sometimes make a day to see friends. After all that flurry of activity, I return home to my couch to flip on my computer. And continue to plod on for some time. That said, life is good, every day is a challenge, and it's just what i need to get those old lazy bones moving.

There is too much in life to be bogged down with, and too much to dwell on, with little or no positive result. What we can do, is roll with the punches, look forward, keep calm and carry on :)

October

*Penjor in Bali 2012*

Giving thanks

Where did the month go? One day we were frolicking about the sun and sand in Bali, and the next day we are back in the grind of things.

So I've started a new job at a new organisation. People are really lovely here. The industry is not particularly 'popular', there seems to be some stigma. My boss tells me 'it's very difficult to get Singaporeans in this industry. Apparently nobody wants to work in travel.' Should I then have negotiated a better package? I jest.

Someone asked me why I didn't want to fight on to stay in PE, as I already had something there.
I am not sure really. Maybe it isn't for me, on one hand I wanted very much to stay on, but on the other hand, I wasn't so sure.

Anyway, after many topsy turvys, I am where I am now, and I think (and hope!) I could be happy here. Sure, not everyone from senior management is a CFA or an MBA or a ABCDERFG, but here there are people smart in the way of life, very diverse in culture, genuine, and really hardworking. Real people. This environment is challenging, but nice. Plus, i get to polish up contract negotiation skills. It's not easy, but there's never a dull day in the office.

On this path and year of change, there are a few things that I have learnt about myself in the last 6 months.

1. Chase not, what everyone else is chasing. It might not always be for you.

2. You are your own person. I am thankful of the doors that have been open to me in the last year, through the grace of God and of friends, and it has allowed me to choose. Everyone has a different opinion on things, but at the end of the day, the path is yours and yours only to walk. So fight for what you want. Nobody else has to live with a  decision you make, only you do.

3. I always said that I wanted to veer away away from private practice type environments as I have never really enjoyed it. Now I am presented with a scenerio which (in my mind some months ago) was an almost perfect role for me. Yet, I am daunted by the expectations of leadership and mentoring, I am aware alot is expected for me. Can I live up to it? My mind goes back to a time when I was 5 and nervously fretting about my first piano exam. I was running a fever and was afraid to fail. I asked my dad 'what if i fail?'. and he says 'if you do, you try again. but you won't fail.' I didn't. He always had that faith in me. At each stage of my life, everytime I questioned myself, dad always repeated this story to me. Sure, sometimes it didn't always  work, I did fail from time to time. I guess, it is not so much about success or failure, it is about having faith in yourself to try, and to do the right thing.

4. Learning to be patient. Very often my friends tell me that I have a very good temparament, but it is often not good enough. Every day, and each time we see my parents, I am torn by both their predicaments. On the occassion, I have been pushed to the limit. But I constantly remind myself - Love is patient and Love is kind. Support, is the one and only best thing I can offer to my mom.

5. Be thankful. Always.