Mothers day 2013

To my dearest mom

role model
pillar of strength
Laughter of the house
Queen of battiness
Secret intelligence
Adventurer of her generation

Hope you has a swell time in dingy old new Ubin seafood restaurant with you crazy family. Happy 31st mothers day!
:)

[via]

Good morning. I actually don't know who reads this space anymore, and I am sometimes tempted to move back to LJ [although the interface isn't very good, and it crashes all the time]. That said, I think I will start working on exporting some of my blog entries and streamlining it in one place, or two, simply because I'd like a backup, in case LJ disappears in to the big black www universe.

This week, I have been on a rather short fuse. The week started off with a difficult conversation with someone in my extended family. She asked many questions about my father and his condition. Many of these phrases were pepperd with the word 'Why?' Why did this happen? Why didn't you do this? Why do you do that? Why? Many questions out of love no less, but nonetheless so immensely difficult to answer. Workwise, it has been hectic, very challenging. And I hope that i am mentally able to separate my work day, from my personal life in the evenings. It is sometimes so easy to slip into that blurred line, and often for that, Mr Mo has to bear the brunt.

It is almost the end of the week, and the month has flown by. I have now officially completed my first month in the new company (M+1J!) and am happy to report that I am swimmingly busy, and becoming a real juggling act! The days fly by, as I potter about on my computer, speeding to be out of the office at a reasonable time, be it to be home for dinner with my parents, to be on time for that yoga class once a week, to make that one weekly dinner date with Mr Mo .... to sometimes make a day to see friends. After all that flurry of activity, I return home to my couch to flip on my computer. And continue to plod on for some time. That said, life is good, every day is a challenge, and it's just what i need to get those old lazy bones moving.

There is too much in life to be bogged down with, and too much to dwell on, with little or no positive result. What we can do, is roll with the punches, look forward, keep calm and carry on :)

October

*Penjor in Bali 2012*

Giving thanks

Where did the month go? One day we were frolicking about the sun and sand in Bali, and the next day we are back in the grind of things.

So I've started a new job at a new organisation. People are really lovely here. The industry is not particularly 'popular', there seems to be some stigma. My boss tells me 'it's very difficult to get Singaporeans in this industry. Apparently nobody wants to work in travel.' Should I then have negotiated a better package? I jest.

Someone asked me why I didn't want to fight on to stay in PE, as I already had something there.
I am not sure really. Maybe it isn't for me, on one hand I wanted very much to stay on, but on the other hand, I wasn't so sure.

Anyway, after many topsy turvys, I am where I am now, and I think (and hope!) I could be happy here. Sure, not everyone from senior management is a CFA or an MBA or a ABCDERFG, but here there are people smart in the way of life, very diverse in culture, genuine, and really hardworking. Real people. This environment is challenging, but nice. Plus, i get to polish up contract negotiation skills. It's not easy, but there's never a dull day in the office.

On this path and year of change, there are a few things that I have learnt about myself in the last 6 months.

1. Chase not, what everyone else is chasing. It might not always be for you.

2. You are your own person. I am thankful of the doors that have been open to me in the last year, through the grace of God and of friends, and it has allowed me to choose. Everyone has a different opinion on things, but at the end of the day, the path is yours and yours only to walk. So fight for what you want. Nobody else has to live with a  decision you make, only you do.

3. I always said that I wanted to veer away away from private practice type environments as I have never really enjoyed it. Now I am presented with a scenerio which (in my mind some months ago) was an almost perfect role for me. Yet, I am daunted by the expectations of leadership and mentoring, I am aware alot is expected for me. Can I live up to it? My mind goes back to a time when I was 5 and nervously fretting about my first piano exam. I was running a fever and was afraid to fail. I asked my dad 'what if i fail?'. and he says 'if you do, you try again. but you won't fail.' I didn't. He always had that faith in me. At each stage of my life, everytime I questioned myself, dad always repeated this story to me. Sure, sometimes it didn't always  work, I did fail from time to time. I guess, it is not so much about success or failure, it is about having faith in yourself to try, and to do the right thing.

4. Learning to be patient. Very often my friends tell me that I have a very good temparament, but it is often not good enough. Every day, and each time we see my parents, I am torn by both their predicaments. On the occassion, I have been pushed to the limit. But I constantly remind myself - Love is patient and Love is kind. Support, is the one and only best thing I can offer to my mom.

5. Be thankful. Always.

60

So my dad turned 60 on Saturday.

60. a mile stone age, an age where in an ideal world, you would be looking forward to retirement, looking forward to spending time with your wife given all those years that you devoted unconditionally to your three children, looking forward to going to pool to get that 'fit' body you challenged your brother to, looking forward to enjoying the rest of the days doing what you truly love.

Life, it comes in stages. And today, both of you should deserve to have so much. You deserve to pass each day and week together, seeing the world, enjoying a coffee, taking long walks, spending time in the home you both worked all your lives to build. And I hope you do.

But Life, it brings about some surprises, some lovely, others painful. And the one of losing a person you love right slowly before you, is one so very difficult to manage.

All things can and will happen with the passage of time, but there is always the question,

"why me?"

"why now?"

Night comes early for some, but for now, we have a long sunset.

I don't know what 61 will be like, or if there will be a 61, and even if I am reluctant to think about the future (we all know what a sunset looks like..it disappears to darkness),  I still do wonder,

"when."

For now, your smile and often gentle demeanour is a spectacular sight to behold, and a lovely warm place to be in. It is like a gorgeous golden orange sun which glows happily. But like all sunsets, this too will set, and forever, and memories may only be as long as today.

This moment is to be cherished.

A public holiday and Beef Bourguinon

So in addition to a vesak day day-off, I was also homebound yesterday due to a frightful eye allergy (an annual one it seems). I attributed last year’s allergy to a hay fever, not sure what I can call it now when I am back in Singapore. On a separate note, if anyone knows where I can get my hands on some preservative free contact lens solution, my eyes will be eternally grateful!

So, home bound, rained in, stash in the fridge. What do I do? Cleared out the freezer, tipped out the drawer of vegetables, examined the mountain of onions we had in the basket, spied half a bottle of red wine in the fridge. A trip to the market for some chuck beef and three hours later  -- a really rich and sterling looking beef bourguinon.  I was happy. Mr Mo was happy. Now we have a pot of it left, and you are all welcome to it! Minimum utensils, one pot, one chopping board, one bowl.

This feeds four people

-          600 g stewing beef cubes

-          3 carrots

-          2 yellow onions and 1 red onion

-          4 cloves of garlic

-          About 10 brown mushrooms

-          4 rashers of back / streaky bacon

-          400 ml red wine

-          50 ml water

-          2 beef stock cubes

-          2 bay leaves

-          1 Bouquet Garni / 1.5 tablespoons Herbes de Provence, failing which, I used mixed herbs which turned out pretty well

-          Sprig of fresh rosemary

-          Black pepper

Pre-heat oven at 160 degrees.

Sweat Bacon pieces in a ribbon of olive oil (1/2 tablespoon) a high sided casserole pot over medium heat till brown, set aside.

Turn up heat on pot, toss beef pieces in plain flour till well coated, and slide them into casserole pot (with bacon fat) and sear till brown (not burning!) on all sides. Remove from pot. By now, the bottom of your pot would have lots of brown bits sticking to it but fret not.

Drop in onions, garlic and carrots (roughly chopped) and drizzle a little more olive oil (1 tablespoon) if your pan is already dry. Turn down heat and let veges sweat for 8-10 minutes.

Tip in beef and bacon, and stir about for 2-3 minutes. Scatter herbs into the pot. If you are using the bouquet garni, hang on to it for now.

Glug wine into the pot and bring heat down to gentle simmer. Dissolve the stock cubes into the water and add to the pot. Now, herbs go in – bouquet garni, bay leaves and rosemary. Give it a stir and shut the lid.

Place pot in the oven (please make sure your pot is oven proof!) and leave to cook for 3 hours. I had to run some errands, so I cooked it for 1.5 hrs, shut off the oven, came home and turned the oven back on for another 2 hrs while I busied myself making some mashed potatoes to go with.

15 minutes before the oven goes off, slice mushroom into slivers, and brown them in some melted butter over medium heat. This means, toss a tablespoon of butter into a frying pan, and let it sizzle, tip mushrooms in and toss them for about 5 minutes. Add that to your casserole pot.

By now, the stew would have turned a rich deep brown colour. Season with black pepper, and top with another sprig of rosemary to freshen its look.

Plate and serve with semoule, mashed potatoes, or sourdough bread.

Note: There are many types of dutch ovens, and I find the le creuset and staubbs retain liquid and heat insanely well. Corning ware works well as well, I am told.

Bon appetit!                                                 

Saturday night

This is what happens when mr mo is left at home for the evening. I'm clearly not complaining! :)

We are in business!

Almost 4 weeks after moving in, I am happy to say that the flat is finally coming together.After weeks of trying to find some space 'awkwardly' in the flat, we can now co-exist in the same room. four full weeks of furniture hunting of some sorts, we've finally managed to put the place together within budget. we've still got bits and pieces in the background that we need to put up, but we're almost there!

The muji beanbag which is a lovely gift from my ex-housemate, is thereabouts the most used piece of furniture in the living room.  We absolutely adore it - thank you so much!

Now we will shortly be moving on to phase 2 - the terrace. That in itself is a piece of work, it's difficult to find furniture to survive the tropical humidity / rain / shine. We've concluded that it is unlikely that our next place will have a terrace like this, so we'll go for something with a good price-quality ratio - hopefully it wouldn't fall apart on us within the first 6 months!

What we got up to this weekend
:: picked up my passport at the ICA - this place is a well-oiled smooth operating machine!
:: waited for the handy man (for a leak), for furniture delivery, for repair man (for the terrace), found an oven (finally) + barbeque pit. Balked at the grocery bill. Supermarkets are frightfully expensive in this country.
:: saw my grand ma who seems to have had a bit of trouble registering the fact that i'm back.
:: came home to a lovely pizza which we shared on the terrace, with some cheese and bread , until we were invaded by a colony of ants. Ants aside, it was a quiet, cloudless evening, with a few stars peppered in the sky, the city's midnight skyline in the distance, a gentle breeze after the evening rain, it was a lovely way to end Saturday.
:: i finally brought my print down to Merlin Gallery at the recommendation of friends to get the repair works assessed.
:: we were having my parents over for dinner, so it was another round to the grocery store for yet another frightful round of shopping.
:: we spent an hour or so in the sun at east coast park, and came back for a swim in the pool.
:: frantic rush to rustle up in the kitchen to prep for our guests.

My parents, they had proud little smiles on their faces - I guess they are finally happy and comfortable with the fact that i've 'grown up'. Oddly enough, although the work's situation is still uncertain, dad's condition is somewhat difficult, I have to say, this is the best place i've been in for a long while.

Stormy mornings

Can you hear the thunder and the pitter patter of fat raindrops charging at your window ? I love a great tropical thunderstorm. Time to kick off my shoes, make a cup of tea, relish in the view from my window, then crawl into bed and fall straight back to sleep!!!

Not! I've got to trot across the city for a meeting at 1pm - lets hope the shower eases a little by noon. Till then I have a steaming mug of tea perched precariously atop a stack of documents to be tackled today.

Over and out!

Oddity

I have now been back for a grand total of 43 days, and frankly it's felt abit more like 43 weeks! The job search goes on, I've got a fab boss at my contract stint which is really helping me ease back into life at home, family has been über supportive and kind, friends have welcomed me home with more than open arms. Mr Mo could not have been more stellar in settling back in here with me. We found a lovely little flat - with a great view of the city. For that and loads more, I am thankful.


I still feel abit out of place here though, too much has changed in the last 6 years, and I am discovering a somewhat new to me city. It's an interesting adventure that I look forward to each day.

That said, some things don't really change, and sometimes I feel like a little odd shaped egg walking on the street. The odd shaped egg that wonders what it'd be like if I started talking to the stranger next to me on the train, the odd shaped egg who wonders whether my neighbour will look me in the eye and smile back at me on the bus when I wave hi, the odd shaped egg who wishes that people would be kind enough not to stare at us when we walk on the street, the odd shaped egg who wishes that others would understand that it's ok to live life, love work, and not want to chase after that next promotion. The odd shaped egg who is happy without these little (sometimes loud!) voices telling me what I 'should' be doing. Although, in my own little way, I know life will be much much better once I have some certainty and permanence in my job. But anyway, for now, and the next 4 months at least, life is good.

Us in Barcelona on my 30th.

Feeling just a bit more at home.

Peaceful

Sometimes in life when you feel like a mountain is too high to climb, God gives you a little nudge along the way, and you know and have hope that everything's going to be ok.

The truth about vegetables

7 days into our new life, we're still trying desperately to bat off jet lag, and acclimatize to the weather. The walk, however short, to the office, is a sweltering one. Heat. It really wraps around you like a blanket the minute you step into the open air.

Food. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the food in London, very much. The food here, quick, excellent, readily available, cheap - but how is it that we can walk into a mall that has more eateries than all the rest of the shops combined together, comb the building and walk out, lamenting that 'there is nothing to eat!'  We morosely chewed on chicken rice from across the road (as good, and fat as it was) and nodded in agreement that we needed our kitchen really soon.

Earthy roots and bulbs ...

Colours of nature...

Maltby street - how i've missed you!!!

I hadn't realised what it was that was missing from my diet but at the team lunch today, my eyes turned their attention to a list that is otherwise ALWAYS disregarded - the salad. Trying not to be poncy, my mind tried to say 'burger and chips, burger and chips' but my moment of joy came as I chomped happily on my raw greens and blue cheese. Did I think I'd find so much satisfaction in a plate of leaves? I never thought I'd live to see this day.

PS: The Bank, please stop marinating your avocados in whatever you are steeping them in, it tastes awful.

-::-

A trip to the wet market is on the cards very soon. And although this photo was taken in the Barcelona market in Summer of 2011, I reminisce little of this market other than the abundance of jamon and cheese. As for Fruit - the tropics kicks backside, lah.

Into the future

Sometimes when you look out of the sky, you marvel at the beauty of nature-- big strokes of rich and princely colors cross the skies on an evening like this, teasing and beckoning me to my love in the castles of the kings. I drag a heavy suitcase of worldly possessions hurriedly down the stairs of montparnasse and skip onto the bullet train to a new beginning. On Friday 27 Jan 2012, we got pacsed.

Un weekend anglais

As we turn into autumn, and enjoy the last of 2011's flowers

....wispy reeds along the edge of lakes in Regent's Park

 

we make our way towards little antique markets admire vintage tea cups..

  

potter off to the market to acquire some sweet end of summer confiture...

to share home made Delia inspired mini scones over a pot of tea and natter with friends..

Here's a typical October weekend in our little neighbourhood in Angel Islington.

Camden Passage 2011

Cicak updates 95/365

So the doctor's confirmed that it's some sort of bite rather than an allergy. Puffiness and itch's getting worse. I hope I'll look slightly better tomorrow!!

Further to my attempt to burn some 'serious' calories, I set out with best intentions to give my uncoordinated body another go at body step class. Alas, work beckoned and tapas called even louder. So home it was, and ola to garlic prawns, chorizo and scallops in a red wine sauce, and American Idol recordings from last week. Tuesday ended a tad better than Monday, only because, it's just 3 days left to a little sunshine in Italy.

Spring fever 88/365

For the first time in 4 yeras, I am home bound with an eye allergy that's supposedly a result of hay fever. I'm uber loaded up with antihistamines but am feeling a wee bit like a cicak today.

Alex 60/365

25 December 2006

When something you care about becomes a memory, that memory becomes a treasure.

This was the usual Friday crew at Bodega y Tapas 4 years ago just before I moved to the UK.  I flipped through a hundred photos in my hard disk before I finally found what I was looking for -- the only photo of us with all smiles around with my then new and first digital camera. Alex gave a full lecture on how i should have taken him along so that he could get me a better deal.

Jordan told me this afternoon that Alex finally surrendered to cancer, something he's battled for over 2 years.  All I can think of today is how much he will be missed by everyone. It's slightly weird, and a little surreal. There is neither reason nor need to say anymore about it, but so it is.

Today I mourn the loss of a good friend.

It's one of those days 54/365

:]

Longing 46/365

春

Aujourd'hui, je suis sans mots.

Squash 44/365

The gym. The place I love to hate and hate to love. We had a great game of squash today with the housemates and Mr Mo (who spent 45 mins on the ellipse machine [secret hurrah!] because it allowed him to watch rugby) followed by tay do at the usual haunt which does an amazing kopiko iced coffee. The evening was complete with Monty Python's Life of Brian and pineapple tarts. That my friends, is a normal Sunday (enjoyed internationally) at its best. :D