October

*Penjor in Bali 2012*

Giving thanks

Where did the month go? One day we were frolicking about the sun and sand in Bali, and the next day we are back in the grind of things.

So I've started a new job at a new organisation. People are really lovely here. The industry is not particularly 'popular', there seems to be some stigma. My boss tells me 'it's very difficult to get Singaporeans in this industry. Apparently nobody wants to work in travel.' Should I then have negotiated a better package? I jest.

Someone asked me why I didn't want to fight on to stay in PE, as I already had something there.
I am not sure really. Maybe it isn't for me, on one hand I wanted very much to stay on, but on the other hand, I wasn't so sure.

Anyway, after many topsy turvys, I am where I am now, and I think (and hope!) I could be happy here. Sure, not everyone from senior management is a CFA or an MBA or a ABCDERFG, but here there are people smart in the way of life, very diverse in culture, genuine, and really hardworking. Real people. This environment is challenging, but nice. Plus, i get to polish up contract negotiation skills. It's not easy, but there's never a dull day in the office.

On this path and year of change, there are a few things that I have learnt about myself in the last 6 months.

1. Chase not, what everyone else is chasing. It might not always be for you.

2. You are your own person. I am thankful of the doors that have been open to me in the last year, through the grace of God and of friends, and it has allowed me to choose. Everyone has a different opinion on things, but at the end of the day, the path is yours and yours only to walk. So fight for what you want. Nobody else has to live with a  decision you make, only you do.

3. I always said that I wanted to veer away away from private practice type environments as I have never really enjoyed it. Now I am presented with a scenerio which (in my mind some months ago) was an almost perfect role for me. Yet, I am daunted by the expectations of leadership and mentoring, I am aware alot is expected for me. Can I live up to it? My mind goes back to a time when I was 5 and nervously fretting about my first piano exam. I was running a fever and was afraid to fail. I asked my dad 'what if i fail?'. and he says 'if you do, you try again. but you won't fail.' I didn't. He always had that faith in me. At each stage of my life, everytime I questioned myself, dad always repeated this story to me. Sure, sometimes it didn't always  work, I did fail from time to time. I guess, it is not so much about success or failure, it is about having faith in yourself to try, and to do the right thing.

4. Learning to be patient. Very often my friends tell me that I have a very good temparament, but it is often not good enough. Every day, and each time we see my parents, I am torn by both their predicaments. On the occassion, I have been pushed to the limit. But I constantly remind myself - Love is patient and Love is kind. Support, is the one and only best thing I can offer to my mom.

5. Be thankful. Always.

60

So my dad turned 60 on Saturday.

60. a mile stone age, an age where in an ideal world, you would be looking forward to retirement, looking forward to spending time with your wife given all those years that you devoted unconditionally to your three children, looking forward to going to pool to get that 'fit' body you challenged your brother to, looking forward to enjoying the rest of the days doing what you truly love.

Life, it comes in stages. And today, both of you should deserve to have so much. You deserve to pass each day and week together, seeing the world, enjoying a coffee, taking long walks, spending time in the home you both worked all your lives to build. And I hope you do.

But Life, it brings about some surprises, some lovely, others painful. And the one of losing a person you love right slowly before you, is one so very difficult to manage.

All things can and will happen with the passage of time, but there is always the question,

"why me?"

"why now?"

Night comes early for some, but for now, we have a long sunset.

I don't know what 61 will be like, or if there will be a 61, and even if I am reluctant to think about the future (we all know what a sunset looks like..it disappears to darkness),  I still do wonder,

"when."

For now, your smile and often gentle demeanour is a spectacular sight to behold, and a lovely warm place to be in. It is like a gorgeous golden orange sun which glows happily. But like all sunsets, this too will set, and forever, and memories may only be as long as today.

This moment is to be cherished.

Hmm

18 January 2012

A photo, taken the morning I handed our keys back to the landlord for our little flat in Robert's Court. I decided to take the Boris bike to work that day, a last for a while. Just before I picked up my bike from the docking station, I stood for a while in the morning sun pondering this serene setting before me. A path I pass everyday, capturing endless photographs, and people ask me why I keep taking photos of the same scene.

"It looks different everyday" I tell them.

It's hard to imagine! i know.

 

if you look closely, it is same same but different. In winter, when the canal ices over. In spring, when the reeds heave in pink and marigold yellow hues. In summer, where people huddle over buckets of beers and smiling people wave hello from their boats with the smell of a summer barbeque in the breeze. In autumn, where happy feet crunch on red and golden leaves.

 At that moment, I felt like I didn't want to leave. Tellement, un coup de coeur ma 'petite' ville.

Hi London , I miss you lots today.

Saturday night

This is what happens when mr mo is left at home for the evening. I'm clearly not complaining! :)

Stormy mornings

Can you hear the thunder and the pitter patter of fat raindrops charging at your window ? I love a great tropical thunderstorm. Time to kick off my shoes, make a cup of tea, relish in the view from my window, then crawl into bed and fall straight back to sleep!!!

Not! I've got to trot across the city for a meeting at 1pm - lets hope the shower eases a little by noon. Till then I have a steaming mug of tea perched precariously atop a stack of documents to be tackled today.

Over and out!

Oddity

I have now been back for a grand total of 43 days, and frankly it's felt abit more like 43 weeks! The job search goes on, I've got a fab boss at my contract stint which is really helping me ease back into life at home, family has been über supportive and kind, friends have welcomed me home with more than open arms. Mr Mo could not have been more stellar in settling back in here with me. We found a lovely little flat - with a great view of the city. For that and loads more, I am thankful.


I still feel abit out of place here though, too much has changed in the last 6 years, and I am discovering a somewhat new to me city. It's an interesting adventure that I look forward to each day.

That said, some things don't really change, and sometimes I feel like a little odd shaped egg walking on the street. The odd shaped egg that wonders what it'd be like if I started talking to the stranger next to me on the train, the odd shaped egg who wonders whether my neighbour will look me in the eye and smile back at me on the bus when I wave hi, the odd shaped egg who wishes that people would be kind enough not to stare at us when we walk on the street, the odd shaped egg who wishes that others would understand that it's ok to live life, love work, and not want to chase after that next promotion. The odd shaped egg who is happy without these little (sometimes loud!) voices telling me what I 'should' be doing. Although, in my own little way, I know life will be much much better once I have some certainty and permanence in my job. But anyway, for now, and the next 4 months at least, life is good.

Us in Barcelona on my 30th.

Missing a little bit of les frogs

Les Printemps aux chateaux, les fleurs , le nouveau, l'esprit, pour vivre, un coup du cœur, l'amour.

Feeling just a bit more at home.

Peaceful

Sometimes in life when you feel like a mountain is too high to climb, God gives you a little nudge along the way, and you know and have hope that everything's going to be ok.

Twilight

Some days, one spots that little window of twilight. It flips by so quickly in this part of the world, people barely notice it. Life, in the like has many moments like these. And all I can think about these days, is how glad I am to be back to savour these moments, however long they may be with my loved ones.

How?

Looking at Dran always makes me smile. These few days are difficult ones, good trouble, as some might say. So I have just started a contract job for 6 month at a firm in the city, the people are lovely, but this position is likely to be for a fixed term. Who knows.

In January, when I took a short preparatory trip  back, I also met with a APAC MNC for a permanent position, and they have now offered me the role. Good trouble I say, as I don't know whether I should take it. On one hand, it is a decent and stable organisation, the boss I will work for seems insanely nice, one of my exclassmates who is a really lovely girl has been with them for a while (though based overseas), package is ok-ish. What's the problem right?

For a start, they were late, both times we met. 45 minutes late each time. The first time, I thought, fine, they are really busy. But the second time?? That's really poor planning from whoever who planned the guy's diary! Either that, or they just don't really care about frittering away the time of others. We had difficulty arranging the second meeting because they had really inflexible timing. After much hassle, we agreed on a time which was not great for me because that required quite abit of rescheduling of the day (appointments were not for pleasure!!!) and at the end of it all, they were 45 mins late from the time they insisted I turned up!

The other thing that got my goat was that I was really grilled on my personal life - my family and personal circumstances which I felt were really invasive - and is, to me somewhat an unfair representation of what i can or cannot do professionally. What bearing does my father's occupation have, on my application?? Why does it matter to you how old my sister is?

And they rang me. 5 times in a span of 15 minutes. By the third missed call, I would have thought it would have been clear that I could not come to the phone.10 points for persistance. I can't decide if this is a plus point or a minus.

Lastly, and this is purely a secondary and not a really a puncture point but the receptionists - (all 4 of them, but 2 at each time) were incredulously impolite and dismissive. Yes incredulously - because clearly they were smiley and beaming when they thought I walked in as a client, and when I said I was there to see HR, one of them simply jabbed her finger pointing at her colleague and barked 'Ask her.' Both of them promptly went on to ignore me. That, as an intial impression really threw me off. With the 45 minute wait, it got me really annoyed. The second time, the person i enquired with didn't even say a word, she just pointed at her colleague and glared at me so accusingly as though I'd murdered her cat.

People ask me 'what's your issue, you team will be nice right?' True, I won't be reporting to HR or the receptionists who are in dire need of some etiquette lessons, but I find it incredibly difficult to shake off my first impressions.

So my question is, do first impressions count for that much? Should I then let this opportunity pass me by?

The truth about vegetables

7 days into our new life, we're still trying desperately to bat off jet lag, and acclimatize to the weather. The walk, however short, to the office, is a sweltering one. Heat. It really wraps around you like a blanket the minute you step into the open air.

Food. I never thought I'd say this, but I miss the food in London, very much. The food here, quick, excellent, readily available, cheap - but how is it that we can walk into a mall that has more eateries than all the rest of the shops combined together, comb the building and walk out, lamenting that 'there is nothing to eat!'  We morosely chewed on chicken rice from across the road (as good, and fat as it was) and nodded in agreement that we needed our kitchen really soon.

Earthy roots and bulbs ...

Colours of nature...

Maltby street - how i've missed you!!!

I hadn't realised what it was that was missing from my diet but at the team lunch today, my eyes turned their attention to a list that is otherwise ALWAYS disregarded - the salad. Trying not to be poncy, my mind tried to say 'burger and chips, burger and chips' but my moment of joy came as I chomped happily on my raw greens and blue cheese. Did I think I'd find so much satisfaction in a plate of leaves? I never thought I'd live to see this day.

PS: The Bank, please stop marinating your avocados in whatever you are steeping them in, it tastes awful.

-::-

A trip to the wet market is on the cards very soon. And although this photo was taken in the Barcelona market in Summer of 2011, I reminisce little of this market other than the abundance of jamon and cheese. As for Fruit - the tropics kicks backside, lah.

29.02.2012 - the day everything changed

As many of would know, life has been abit of a whirlwind since the beginning of 2012. 2012, a remarkable year thus far, with an abundance of events and anecdotes in life (both large and small), to be very thankful for.

After struggling to manage a long distance relationship for 6 long years, commuting first 10,000km twice a year, then 500km once a month for the last 5 years, I am happy to announce that we are finally pressing the pause button on this commute. This also means that we have had to make a move from cities that we both love, to begin, what I hope will be a new life together.

So just before I get too comfortable in my new passenger's seat, I decided to dig up some fond memories of farewells and endearing moments of this place that's helped me grow up, and of the city I've grown to love.

The final 7 days

Ba Shan in Soho - just about my favourite place for Chinese, when I arrived for my 'last supper', the serving lady asked me for the first time if  I had been to Ba Shan before. I laughed and joked with her about how i've been frequenting the joint for the last few years but I'm being asked this question ironically, on my last night in London. There is never a dull moment in this place.

And if anyone can tell me why the flags and banners with slogans from Maos have arabic inscriptions and what they say, your next dinner at Ba Shan is on me.

"C" for Coven and City Caphe

A 24 hour trip to Haarlam to witness a beautiful ceremony in a glasshouse by the lake.

Two failed attempts on a work day, but finally, a little peak into the eccentric Lucien Freud at the National Portrait Gallery.

The Big Easter Egg Hunt in Covent Garden this year, happily toppling over outside Kate Spade.

The beautiful Osseau region of the Pyrenees - of Osseau Iraty fame (to me at least).

Gourette - Skiing and beautiful huskies snoozing about after a morning of dog sledding duties.

Into the future

Sometimes when you look out of the sky, you marvel at the beauty of nature-- big strokes of rich and princely colors cross the skies on an evening like this, teasing and beckoning me to my love in the castles of the kings. I drag a heavy suitcase of worldly possessions hurriedly down the stairs of montparnasse and skip onto the bullet train to a new beginning. On Friday 27 Jan 2012, we got pacsed.

Autumn in Kensington Palace, an evening of fashion and fairy tales

WHAT DO PRINCESSES DREAM OF?

The Candle's burnt out long before the legend ever will.

 

Kensington Gardens November 2011

The last two months have been a bit of a whirlwind and there are lots of bits bubbling here and there, and having had to move out of my flat, relying on the kindness of friends who are putting me up in their lovely home in Clapham, I really couldn't ask for me - and thus the lack of updates. I digress.

Last autumn we visited the Kensington Palace for the 'Enchanted Palace' installation. 

A beautifully crafted view of the royal residence, bringing to life the history of royals who have inhabited Kensington Palace.

Each room was themed, each representing a princess who lived, and died, often of a tragic death. It was a quest and a little adventure to guess which princess the room was designed for.

 Brilliant lighting by Chris Levine

A dress for a rebellious princess 

 The room of lost children

Peter, the Wild Boy 

the room of dancing princesses

Magical. Exquisite. Whimsical. Mysterious.

 

This time of year

Cologne 9 December 2011

At Christmas I no more desire a rose

Than wish a snow in May's new-fangled mirth;

But like of each thing that in season grows.

~~~ Love's Labours Lost

Guy Fawkes Night

Remember, Remember, the 5th of November

-V for Vendetta

 

Pipi and I trooped up to Primrose Hill last night with the hopes of catching the fireworks all around London. You see, Primrose Hill gives a panoramic view of London, from Battersea all the way to Victoria Park, the lights and fireworks were going off all around in the distance. With the aroma of mulled wine and the burning scent of sparklers, it was such a festive evening. However, the evening drew to an early close as it start spitting a little and it got foggy - bits of light and sparkle disappeared behind the red autumn sky. Nonetheless, I plodded on to the Speakeasy next door to our flat to see other friends and share some cocktails (Oh Gosh!).

Tonight, however, I was pottering about the flat watching last night's re-run of X Factor and I saw night sky light up from the City of London. I don't know whether these were the London Bridge fireworks (they probably were), but I admired the beautiful unobstructed display of colour, light and sparkle from our flat in Islington. With the City of London and St Peter's church in the background, and a mug of hot chocolate in my hand, I felt for the moment, truly content, and so very very lucky to be here.

Autumn in Paris

:: En ce temps-là, la vie était plus belle :: 

Paris, 26-30 October 2011

 

Les feuilles mortes se ramassent à la pelle,
Les souvenirs et les regrets aussi

 Mais mon amour silencieux et fidèle

Sourit toujours et remercie la vie.

Un weekend anglais

As we turn into autumn, and enjoy the last of 2011's flowers

....wispy reeds along the edge of lakes in Regent's Park

 

we make our way towards little antique markets admire vintage tea cups..

  

potter off to the market to acquire some sweet end of summer confiture...

to share home made Delia inspired mini scones over a pot of tea and natter with friends..

Here's a typical October weekend in our little neighbourhood in Angel Islington.

Camden Passage 2011

The last sunny Friday

Naxos, 2011

As I tap away at work on the first Friday afternoon of the month, I couldn't help but notice that the sun is absolutely blazing and with clear blue skies. Feels like summer, and it does put you in a 'holiday' mood. Think big white brollies, pink vespa, blue skies. For that, a little photo from the lush island of Naxos off Greece.

Looks are deceiving -- it's just 14 degrees outside, but it's my favourite kind of weather.

TGIF !