It is with heavy thoughts that I write this post, but it has been something (amongst other things) that has bothered me for some time now. It is also for this reason, I am sometimes reluctant to immerse myself in group discussions. Especially when it is about me.
There are sometimes comments and critiques, snide and pointed, and it makes me think, gosh, did we ever grow out of that playground phase? or will we ever get ourselves out of it? I often question what it is within us that automates that sterotype?
From a side of the fence :
'Sorry, Singaporean guys, we thought the non-Singaporeans guys were way more generous and fun'
'oh Singaporean guys are so boring'
From another side of the fence:
'Oh you have a French boyfriend. They are so romantic aren't they? you're so lucky, wah but you must be worried, he's after all, french.'
'Ah you, you and your friends are all SPGs''you mean you've been faithful all this time after 5 years of LDR? sure or not, don't bluff lah. even if you are, i'll bet he isn't. he's an ang mor after all.'
I have heard this for more than half a decade. I am tired of it. I no longer try to defend why I don't think I am an SPG, or explain how an inter-cultural relationship is no different from any other relationship - only that it is 10 times harder because we're wired completely differently, or leap in and whinge about how some of my male counterparts were such macho creeps, it really irked me.
Sure, the world does not exist without generalisation, the world lives in factions and whilst every human judges, what frustrates me the most, is that all questions, all queries, all conversations point towards the establishment of the starting point of judgment - 'I am better than you are', and if I am not, I am here to tell you why you suck anyway.
Has it ever occured to anyone, that underneath that exterior that came from the cookie cutter mould, lies a person, no matter how similar in make up, is still different from the other next to him. Ever thought of listening first to one, before saying that he is 'useless' because he has not been financially successful in his career? Ever thought of looking behind the high life of an expat where the phrase 'saving for a rainy day' is alien to him? Ever thought of looking behind that veil of colour in a relationship?
I urge you today, to take a really long and hard look at a person for who he or she is, beyond...the colour of the skin that he/she has, the clothes that he/she wears, the make up that she didn't put on, the mismatch work clothes that he/she's got on his body, the size of his/her wallet, the title that he/she carries, or the the accent that he/she has.
At the end of the day, that is what you cherish of a person, nothing more, and nothing less.
If you're now thinking, 'oh god what a hippie you are', thank you for stereotyping from your ivory tower, and you're very welcome to move on.
2 comments:
i sense the stupidity in emotional quotient exuding from every corner of your unfortunate social circle
when will you be back again
call me when you have time ah, but do let me know when & if you can. lots to update, and absolutely needing my PTL
orh ok. i try to call u tmrw k? how's the new job going? xx
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